Rearrange Again
by johar
Summary: In the wake of Callie's flight, the Fosters struggle to cope.
1. Chapter 1 (Mariana)

Mariana hates the silence. Well, _relative _silence. Her family has never been quiet, and it's not like Callie was very loud in the first place. But her absence is tangible, and it hurts.

At first, Callie was an unpleasant addition to the family, it's true. Prickly at her best and hostile at her worst, Callie was hard to get along with, and though Mariana didn't like her, she didn't blame her, either. Parents are supposed to love you, to be there for you, and Mariana knew just as well as Callie how awful it was when they disappointed you, and that it left you feeling angry and sad and lost. She knew this about Callie, and she understood, she really did, but that didn't change the fact that Callie was hard to be around. She hadn't been thrilled when Callie moved in, and Mariana was embarrassed when she remembered just how poorly she'd treated her foster sister.

But they had grown to like each other, to trust each other, and when Callie ran away Mariana couldn't help but feel hurt. They were sisters. They were supposed to tell each other things. Just that evening Callie had become one of them, _officially_, and her flight felt like a slap in the face. She had been so excited. Now, Mariana just feels tired.

Mariana sighs, pulling her hair back into a ponytail, her back to Callie's empty bed. The Moms are insisting that they go to school. Mariana is grateful to get out of the house, to escape Lena's swollen eyes and Stef's anger and Callie's lingering presence, but she is not ready to face her classmates' curiosity and her teachers' pity. She glances ruefully at her outfit - sweats and a hoodie - and reaches for a bracelet. The added jewelry does not tie the ensemble (ensemble? What a joke) together like she'd hoped and _Seventeen _had promised her. Mariana gives up, shrugs her backpack onto her shoulders, and plods downstairs.

"Good morning, Mariana," says Lena cheerfully, kissing her daughter on the cheek. "Are you ready for your first day back?"

"Um...no," says Mariana, wondering what on earth has her mother so happy. "What's up? Any news?"

Lena's face darkens perceptibly. "Nothing," she says quietly, passing Mariana a bowl of cereal and the milk jug.

Jesus appears at the foot of the stairs, grabs a box of cereal and a bowl, and sits down next to his sister. He doesn't look like he's gotten any sleep. _Poor Jesus_, Mariana thinks, _worrying about his sister _and_ his girlfriend. _Mariana has been trying not to think about Lexi - all the what ifs are torturing her (what if they're caught? And if they're not, how will Lexi cope with her grandmother's death? And what if they can't come back?) Jesus mumbles a cursory good morning and starts to shovel cereal into his mouth. Lena glances worriedly at him before pouring herself a cup of strong, black coffee.

When Brandon appears five minutes later, he looks even worse than Jesus. He has not taken Callie's disappearance well, and it shows. His hair is disheveled, his clothes are wrinkled, and his face is pale - he hasn't left the house in a few days. All he's done is play the guitar he gave Callie, the one she left behind. He grabs an apple and sits down opposite Jesus.

"Aren't you going to eat something else, Brandon?" Lena asks. When he shakes his head, she sighs and takes a sip of coffee.

They eat in silence.

"Where's Jude?" Mariana wonders aloud, setting her empty bowl in the sink.

"Stef took him to the station. They're going to ask him a few questions," Lena says.

"They've already asked him a billion," Mariana grumbles, "What else can they expect of him? Callie didn't tell where she was going, not even Jude."

"I happen to agree with you," says Lena, "but they seem to think he'll let something slip. They don't suspect he knows where she is," she adds quickly, when Brandon stops chewing, "but maybe she's gone someplace that they've both been before. Stef says that every detail helps."

Mariana sighs, glancing at the clock. She still has time to walk to school, if she hurries. She squeezes her mother's shoulders, acutely aware of Lena's sadness, and heads out, the screen door banging shut behind her.

The morning is crisp and sunny; a warm breeze rustles the branches of the trees.

_This sucks_, Mariana thinks, and starts to walk.


	2. Chapter 2 (Brandon)

Brandon remembers the feel of her lips on his. He does this a lot when he feels sad, but it only makes him sadder, and guiltier. It's his fault, he knows. He shouldn't have made her choose. He jeopardized her place in their home, and her brother's too. He drove her to run away. It's his fault. His.

He's infinitely grateful that his mothers don't know _why _she ran away, but his guilt comes rushing back when he sees the bags under their eyes and hears the bewilderment in their voices when they talk about Callie's disappearance. Nevertheless, Brandon is glad they don't know about the kiss, or the way he feels about her, his _sister. _He knows just how wrong it is - _incestuous, taboo _- but he can't help it. He hopes they never find out.

He wishes he didn't have to go back to school. He doesn't _want_ things to go back to normal, or to pretend like they already have. He doesn't want to talk to Talya, or even to look at her. If he forgets - forgets what Talya did to Callie, forgets that Callie is missing, forgets that it is his fault - he will forget that Callie was ever here. He will forget the feel of her lips.

Mariana, Jesus, and Lena are already in the kitchen when Brandon comes downstairs. He isn't hungry - only tired. He didn't sleep at all last night; he stayed up wondering where Callie could possibly have gone. The answer was anywhere. In the 24 hours since she'd left she could have taken a bus to San Francisco, to L.A., to New York. She could have caught a flight to Paris, to London, to Amsterdam. He'd wondered if she was okay, if something horrible had happened to her, if she was thinking of him like he was thinking of her.

Brandon waits at the bus stop with Jesus. Neither speak. Brandon can tell Jesus is thinking about Lexi, who'd gone to visit her grandmother in Honduras. He knows what it was like to miss someone you love, but he can hardly tell Jesus this. Jesus would ask him if Talya had taken a vacation, and Brandon doesn't want to think about Talya.

He spends the day avoiding Talya, and all other human interaction. He turns in half-assed assignments, sits in the back of the classroom, doesn't participate, doesn't _talk. _He eats his lunch by himself, in a far corner of the soccer field. He sees Talya once in the halls, but disappears into a classroom before she spots him. He knows he'll have to face her eventually, but he prefers "eventually" to "now."

After school Brandon goes to the beach. He watches the waves and thinks.

* * *

It is dark when Brandon comes home. He told Lena he'd be with Talya, and he hopes this excuse will forgive his late return. It's almost midnight, but when opens the door he sees Lena and Stef and Mariana in the kitchen. Mariana smiles when she sees him, but there are tears in her eyes. Stef raises her eyebrows, glancing at the clock.

"Hey," he says, coming to stand next to his sister.

"You're a little late, don't you think?" says Stef. "It's midnight."

"Yeah, sorry about that. The movie ended late," says Brandon. "Are you okay, Mariana? What's wrong?"

"Oh...I-I-I don't know," says Mariana hesitantly, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I just miss her, you know? And I'm worried about her. It's stupid. I shouldn't be crying."

Brandon hugs her tightly. _My sister_, he thinks, and wishes he could feel the same way about Callie. Protective, affectionate, loving - but not _in _love. "It's okay," he says, and when he lets go Mariana smiles, though her eyes are clouded with tears once more.

"Thanks, Bran," she whispers. Mariana kisses Stef and Lena and goes upstairs.

When she's gone, Brandon looks at his mothers. "Is there any news?" he asks anxiously. "Any new leads?"

Stef shakes her head. Lena looks at her mug. "Are the police done with Jude?" Brandon asks.

"Finally," says Lena, and Stef nods. Lena puts her hand on Stef's shoulder. "Stef reminded them that Jude had no idea where she was, and that if he _had_ they would have figured it out by now. Eventually they backed off."

_At least they've laid off Jude_, Brandon thinks dully. Jude hasn't spoken to him since Callie left. Nobody's noticed yet - Stef is busy, Lena is sad, Mariana and Jesus are confused. None of them are paying close attention to Brandon, which is fine by him. But Jude's silence is troubling. He knows he deserves it, but he and Jude had been friends. Jude looked up to Brandon, and Brandon himself had been glad to have another brother.

It is too much. Tears fill his eyes.

"Oh, no, Brandon, don't," whispers Stef, touching his shoulder, pushing a stray lock of hair from his face. Brow furrowed, she plants a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"You don't understand," he says, trying and failing to banish his tears.

"I do," says Stef. "It's okay, Bran. We all miss her."

_No, no, you really don't understand_, Brandon wants to insist, but he knows that if he starts to talk he won't be able to stop. It's bad enough that Callie's gone, it's worse still that it's his fault, but it is important that neither Stef nor Lena find out just how much he is to blame. _Not just for my sake_, Brandon tells himself, _I need to protect Callie, too. _

He lets Stef comfort him, and when she has wiped away his sticky, salty tears, he pretends that he is not sad any longer. He can feel her's and Lena's eyes on his back as he leaves, climbs the stairs, and takes out Callie's guitar.

Brandon was hurt that she'd left the guitar behind, and he knew just how ridiculous _that _was. It would be impractical to carry a guitar, and besides that, shouldn't he be happy he had it back? This was his first guitar, after all. But it doesn't feel like his anymore - it belongs to Callie now.

He rests his fingers on its curves, and dreams of Callie.


	3. Chapter 3 (Mariana)

Mariana is eating lunch when she's interrupted.

"Hey," says Talya.

"Hey," says Mariana, confused. Brandon and Talya have been dating for a long time, and a lot of that time was spent in Mariana's own house, but she'd never once had a conversation with her brother's girlfriend. Their few interactions were short and impersonal - Talya wanted know where the bathroom was, Talya wanted the salt, Talya was just wondering if Brandon was home, Talya forgot her coat at the Fosters' and would it be okay if she came to pick it up later? When they'd broken up Mariana hadn't been sad for Talya's sake, or even really for Brandon. Talya hadn't seemed particularly interesting, however nice and polite she might be.

"So, um, how are you?" asks Talya.

"Oh," says Mariana. If Talya wants to know what's up with Callie, why doesn't she just ask Bran? They're back together now, aren't they? "Well, everyone's kind of freaking out."

"I can imagine," says Talya, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear. "It's so weird. Wyatt, Lexi, and now Callie." She shakes her head and shrugs. "I guess people are getting fed up with Anchor Beach," she jokes. Mariana doesn't laugh. She's thinking.

"You said Lexi, Callie, and who?" Mariana asks, just to make sure.

"Wyatt. You know, long hair, weird taste in music, and nice biceps?" says Talya. "If I wasn't dating Brandon, who's perfect, by the way, I would've been all _over _Wyatt. But I hear he moved to Indiana, so that ship's sailed." Mariana does not humor her with a laugh. Talya smiles uncertainly. "Um, speaking of Brandon. He's back at school, right? I mean, he's not staying at home or anything?"

Mariana looks over at her, momentarily distracted. "Yeah. He started on Monday, just like me."

Talya's brows furrow, and her eyes fill with tears. "He did? Oh."

Mariana doesn't know what to do with herself. Whatever's going on between Talya and Brandon is no business of her own. She doesn't have a good track record in that respect. "Um, yeah. If...if you want, I'll tell him you've been looking for him. I'm sure he's just busy or something. He's got schoolwork to catch up on." Mariana picks up her things. "See you later, I guess."

Talya blinks sadly, and Mariana leaves her. _That was so uncomfortable. _

* * *

_Wyatt._ She remembers him, if only vaguely. _Didn't he have some party? _

And then it comes back to her. _Yeah, and I went with Callie. Callie and Wyatt were going out. _

Mariana can't believe she forgot. _What if? _It's the first time she's so desperately loved a hypothetical, the first time she's completely given herself over to hope since her own adoption. What if Wyatt knows where to find Callie? Better yet, what if Wyatt _is _where to find Callie?

But the more Mariana considers, the more she finds her idea ridiculous. _Wyatt had been planning to move long before Callie planned to run away. He probably left before she did. _She stops and wonders, and with each passing second and each fleeting theory her hope fades a little faster and her heart breaks a little more. _She could be anywhere. _

But then she remembers. _Callie wasn't taken away. She took herself away. She didn't want to be here. _

It's all Mariana can do not to sit down and start sobbing in the middle of the hallway.


End file.
